Flash back part one Abby's story

I can not believe Christmas is almost here... Even more then that I can not believe Maddie will be one in less then a month, and Abby will be 4 in less then 2 months..  I wanted to post both of their birth stories on my blog. I am going start with Abby because in Maddie's story we got a little more info on how much a miracle Abby truly was..  This will be a lengthy post so beware..

Eric and I were married January 20, 2007.  It all moved very fast for us.. I will post that blog on another day.  We found out I was pregnant in August of 07.. See I told ya fast...  She was due Late March.

I had a very good pregnancy at first. I didnt really have another one to compare it to, but I thought it was going well.  I went to all my Dr's appointments.  We couldnt wait to find out the sex so we went to a 3D ultrasound place when i was around 15 weeks along.. She had her legs closed... She continued to have her legs closed every week we went back for 3 solid weeks.. (if you know abby it she is totally the kid that does things when she is darn good and ready!)  A GIRL!! We were sooo excited..  Well I was excited Eric was scared to death.. (dont believe him if he tells you otherwise)

I had had NO swelling up to this point.
Shortly before my shower I was sitting at my desk in my office..  and felt a rushing sensation go to my legs and feet.. I didnt think much of it but when i got up I noticed my legs felt stiff and I couldnt walk normally.  I went to my dads office and we were talking.. He said wow your legs are swollen.  I didnt even look and say sure dad... I havent had any swelling.. He said you do now.  I looked down and was amazed.  I didnt have it before.. I looked and kept pressing my skin watching it sink into itself and staying that way a very long time.... We talked about it a few mins and didnt really think much about it.
My Grandmother came down for my baby shower.  Mom told me to shower her my legs.. I did and she said (in her southern voice) Jessie you should ask your mother in law about that.  That isnt right. I said ok (thinking I wasnt going to bother her with a little swelling).
My Mom, Mother in law, and Aunt gave me an awesome Baby shower

Our family and church family were so AWESOME to us.. They got us so many beautiful things for our Abby.  There were SOOOO many presents..  I was in the process of opening presents and it took a very long time.  I mention the time not to complain but because Even when I am not Prego I visit the bathroom often.  So when I was prego the small Bladder I had turned to the size of thimble.  I sat there opening all the presents and went through the whole shower and didnt have to go once.  I remember my mom kept saying "do you need a break?"  I said no I am fine.  Not having to go to the Bathroom once durning my shower worried my mom..  After the shower was over my mom was near Grandma Judy (erics gma) and Mom said show Judy your ankles.  So I did.  She said something like oh my..  I laughed and said yea they are something.. Later I took my mother in law and other family over to my house to show them Abby's room.  Judy said Karen look at her ankles.. She did and said when do you go back to the Dr.  I said Thursday ( it was only saturday).. She yeah they need to look at that.. She said keep an eye on it.. maybe call them and see if they want to see you sooner.. I said ok..  Didnt really think about it again.   However my parents were worried about my swelling and asked me if I showed Karen and what did she say..  I told him and he said well maybe you should call now.. I said ok maybe I will..

I told Eric about all that when we got home.. He started to get worried and called Rand (his step dad who is a DR.) and told him about my swelling.  He told him I should call my dr..

So I did..

The Dr on call that night said it was probably nothing and keep my legs up and call back the next day (super bowl Sunday) if it hasnt gone down..  Next day came I went to church sat in the balcony with my feet up went back home sat with my feet up all day and evening..  Eric was taking a nap that night and I was sitting writing thank you cards.  I looked at my feet and though wow they havent gone down.. I guess i will call the Dr again..  So I did.. It was a different Dr on call Dr Rice.  I told her everything the Dr the night before had said and she said well it is probably nothing, but to make you feel better go get ur BP taken and call me back if it is anything over 140/90.  

I went to get my BP taken (didnt think I should wake Eric up as I didnt think there was anything wrong. Went to CVS and my BP was 155/105.  I went home and opened the Door (planning to wake eric up) and he was sitting on the couch putting on his shoes.  I said what are you doing.. He said the Lord woke me up and told me to get my shoes on because I (he) was going somewhere.  I told him about my BP and we were getting in the car.   He said you better call your parents.. Still thinking nothing was really wrong and I would be back in a couple hours) I said no.. They were having a super bowl party and I didnt want to bother them.  He insisted.  So i called and told them the story and told my mom I was fine and I would call her when I got there and talked to the dr.  I said I dont think you need to come.. She said ok (I really wasnt worried) she heard my voice and knew I was fine and said ok..  Dad however wanted to come.. so he came..

We went to the hospital and I was having contractions but didnt know it.. They put me on contraction monitors and said are you having a contraction I said no.. She said yes you are and a good one.. I said thats what that is... I have had those the whole pregnancy.  I felt crazy not know I was contracting..

They did blood tests and the Dr came in (my BP was getting higher)  Dr Rice said you have Preeclamsia.  You are going to have a pre mature baby and she will probably have learning Disabilities and lots of food allergies and she wont be able to breathe on her own. She will be here for at least 3 months after she is born.   She went on about other things that would be wrong with my Baby, but I started to zone out.  I couldnt get the phrase Learning disabilities out of my head.  

I was in full panic mode at this point.  If my dad was honest he was too.  He was red faced and wide eyes.  He just said oh Jesus a few times and prayed.  Eric was solid as a rock.  He was task focused like what do we need to do next.  I told Eric to call my mom because I knew i was going to cry and didnt want scare her worse then she already would be.. 

They took me to get an ultrasound to see if they thought abby could breathe on her own  ..  My mom came in when we were getting the ultrasound.  Eric started telling her everything that was "going" to be wrong with abby.  Telling her about preeclamsia and how I am at risk of stroke and on on on it goes.. I was just starting at my mom I saw her chin quiver and then I saw hold it back because she wanted to be strong.. I knew my mom was worried about her baby just as I was worried about mine.  I looked at her and she looked at me and I said I am going to be ok mom.  She was trying so hard not to cry, and so was I.   

The DR put me in labor and delivery incase I had to have an emergency C section.  The nurse have me something to help me sleep..  The medicine worked and I went to sleep.  The next morning the Dr on call came in and said they were going to start me to start me on steroid shots (that helps the baby's lungs develop faster).  You have to have 3 shots and you can only have them every 24 hours.  They said we dont think you will make it this long but just incase you do we will start now..  

All I heard was 3 shorts i have to take and Abby can breathe.  So I said ok I am going to make it and get those shots.. They also said 24 hours after the last shot is best case.  I said OK Lord YOU have to help me get to best case.. I told the Lord I was NOT having this baby before Thursday and He had to help me not stroke out to do it.  

So there I was admitted to the hospital and I was going to be there until we met Abby.  Tuesday came and I assured Eric I was fine and He could go to work..  My Father in Law would come and see me when he was at that hospital making rounds.  My mother in law would come and sit with me in the mornings and bring me every trash mag ( i love them dont judge lol) you can think of among things.  My parents would come in the afternoon and stay till late the evening and eric would come after he got off work he would spend the night with me, and go back to work in the morning.  (they did this every day even after the Abby was born)  (I couldnt have made it through without them all!)

Every day several times a day nurses and Drs. would take my BP and ask if I had headaches or change in vision.. I would always so no.. Even though by wednesday my head excruciating.  I couldnt not and would not tell them!  Abby had to stay in until Thursday!  Thursday came and I made it!  My head wasnt hurting as bad.. However then I started seeing spots.. Like fireflies... I told my mother in law that morning when she got there and she told the nurse.. Eric came and my parents came.. I noticed no one was leaving that day, but didnt think much of it.. Everyone but me knew We were going to have a baby that night.  When my parents got there I saw Eric ask my mom if she wanted to come get a drink.. She said no I am good.. and He said oh sure you do.. So she did.. I saw when they came back she just sat the drink on the table and didnt ever touch it again.. I dont think they told my dad at that point.. Because he seemed calm.. Mom is normally the calm one and she seemed jumpy to me.. Eric was a ball of energy but that is nothing new..  

FEb 7, 2008

They took me down for another ultrasound to see if abby could breathe on her own.. They decided they thought she had a good shot.. Eric then said Jess you know they are taking her tonight right.. I was amazed..  

Before they took me to have a c section I kissed my parents told them I loved them and I could tell mom was worried.. I told her not to worry and kissed her..  

I was in the OR waitng on Eric to come in and I was fine up to that point.  Suddenly I felt paralyzed by fear.  I thought ok I changed my mind how can I get out of this.. Crazy thought i know.. I had never been more scared.. I was just praying in my head begging the Lord to keep Abby alive and let her breath.  I begged him to let me live so I could raise her with Eric.  I love my husband but all I wanted in that moment to calm my fear was my mom.. I wanted her to tell me everything was going to be ok.. I knew I would believe her.. However in that moment I think she was more scared them I was and wouldnt have been able to do that lol..  Finally they let Eric in and He was talking to me.. I was wasnt saying a word.. and the nurses and Dr was saying how calm I am.  Eric said no she isnt she is dying on the inside.. She is a wreck.  (what can I say the man knows me)

Finally I said when are they going to start.. Eric said they are almost done.. I just kept praying softly Let Abby cry let her cry..  Finally I heard  a little cry.. I started to cry.. They took her away (all i saw was her hair) and started looking and examining her..  She didnt need a ventilator.  I was so happy and thankful to the Lord.. The Dr Brown said she is doing great..  4pounds 7 ounces.. They wrapped her up and showed me her from across the room I saw my abby girl for the first time.. I couldnt see her again or hold her for the 1st time for another 30 hours..

Me seeing abby for the 1st time.. I was soooo swollen..
I was on bed rest for the next 30 hours.  Everyone got to hold Abby before me..

My mom at first wasnt going to hold her.. She said I will just go look.. I think you should hold her before I do.. I told her no you have to hold her..  I am glad you can hold her.. I would rather the people that love her get to hold her since I cant.  Well I won... as you see a few pics above..

I would be in my room and Eric would bring me pictures of her.  I would get upset if he took to long with my pictures lol..

I dont know why but we dont have a picture of me holding abby for the first time.. but this is close to it

I may not look happy, but I was just soaking up this little being.. I couldnt stop staring at her.
I remember being worried since I could hold abby right away if I could bond with her easily and her with me.. WHen I saw her and held her I never worried that again.. She was so small and so special and she was such a miracle .. I was just so happy to hold her and call her MINE.. She looks like me and if you know her now she has my personality.. She is a little me..  I prayed she would be stubborn  because you need to be a stubborn  female to live in this world for the the Lord.. Boy did i get my prayer!!!

I was in the hospital 6 more days after she was born.. My Husband spent his nights with me and days at work.. He would be called at 3 am to go check on something at work.. get up drive back to Pinellas park fix it and come back.. He was such a awesome in all of this.. He wore himself ragged.. He deserves a metal for that time..

Abby was such a miracle. They Dr told us she would be in the hospital 3 months she was there 7 days.. She was healthy as can be.. Her mother on the other hand had some health issues..  My blood pressure kept going up.. However the Dr.s got that under control and I was able to go home.. 6 days after abby was born.. (still on BP meds)  I had to take the meds for about 6 months.. Then my BP went to normal..
I remember the nurses in the NICU (when i was worried about abby)  Do not worry about her she is a fiesty.  She will be out of here soon,,

I was upset we couldnt bring Abby home with us.  We went home that night and my mom made me a welcome home dinner.. Everyone was trying to cheer me up... Eric kept telling me she is coming home tomorrow..  He was right I mean they said 3 months .. it was 7 days..What a miracle the Lord did.. 

So tiny yet such determination.. She had to be!

Finally we wall went home and began our family of 3.....

Sorry it was such a long story.. and I left a lot out..
I will do maddies soon!

Hospital Kills “Wrong” Twin in Abortion, Both Babies Now Dead

A hospital in Australia making news for having killed the “wrong” twin in an abortion of a healthy unborn child when the mother of the babies wanted an abortion on her child who doctors said had little chance to live. Now, both babies are dead.

The Herald Sun newspaper reports that the unnamed woman from Victoria had already named her unborn children when doctors told her one of the unborn babies had a congenital heart defect that would requires years of operations, assuming the baby survived long enough to have them. The mother decided to have an abortion, terminating the life of one of her unborn children and allowing the other baby to live.

The newspaper indicates an ultrasound tech checked on the healthy baby before the abortion and determine the child was in a separate amniotic sac than the sibling. However, the abortion, which took place Tuesday afternoon, went awry and the wrong baby was injected with drugs meant to end his or her life.

After the mother was informed of the error, doctors did an emergency Cesarean section and the sick unborn baby was killed in a three-hour operation, the newspaper indicates.

A spokeswoman for the Royal Women’s Hospital apologized, the Herald Sun reported, for the “distressing clinical accident” and said the hospital would conduct an investigation of the mistake.

“The Royal Women’s Hospital can confirm a distressing clinical accident occurred (on Tuesday),” the representative said. “This is a terrible tragedy and the hospital is deeply sorry for the loss suffered by the patient and her family.”

A friend of the mother told the newspaper she is having a difficult time following the error.

“She went to the hospital with two babies and now she has none. And she had the heartache of giving birth to her sick baby. She’s traumatized,” she said. “The hospital said it had followed correct procedure, but how could this happen? The ultrasound clinician said she checked three times before the termination because she didn’t want to make a mistake.”

The newspaper indicates the family is considering legal action and key health officials said they want to know more about how the hospital could have let this accident occur.

These kinds of cases have occurred before and, in 2010, a Florida-based abortion practitioner lost his medical license. Matthew Kachinas was supposed to do an abortion on one of the twin babies who had Down syndrome but wound up killing the other baby in the failed abortion.

Kachinas injected a chemical to kill the baby in the abortion, but the injection ultimately killed the healthy unborn child.

The Florida Board of Medicine revoked Kachinas’ license for that and other cases that have come to its attention where Kachinas engaged in shoddy medicine. Immediately after the hearing, Kachinas said he would kill himself and was hospitalized at a local mental health facility out of concerns of his well-being, the newspaper reported.

Officials in Italy, in 2007, investigated a botched abortion done on twin brothers where the healthy brother became the victim of the abortion and the twin, who has Down syndrome, lived. The disabled brother was the target of the abortion procedure and the case is raising the ugly specter of abortions done to kill disabled people. The abortion was done on a 38-year-old woman in Milan.

Doctors at the San Paolo hospital told Italian media that the babies moved during the abortion procedure and changed position compared to their locations during a pre-abortion examination. After doctors realized their mistake, they notified the woman in question. She returned to the hospital to have the disabled baby aborted as well and then reported the doctors to the police

Info from http://www.lifenews.com/2011/11/23/hospital-kills-wrong-twin-in-abortion-both-babies-now-dead/ 

Where is your Mission Field

In preparing for Youth tonight I came across these videos..   Where is your Mission Field?  If people are watching what do your actions say?

Person of the year is.....

This morning, Time Magazine unveiled their choice for 2011's Person of the Year - "the Protester.

According to managing editor Richard Stengel, other finalists included Kate Middleton, Admiral William McRaven, and Congressman Paul Ryan.

What do U think? Do U agree with Time's Person of the Year???

Exciting Times..

I am sure many of my posts will have to do with my church (praisecathedral.com), or Christian related topics.  I am a Pastor's Daughter I am a Pastor's Wife and above all I am a christian.  So alot of what I say and think revolves around where I spend my time and thoughts.  The things that occupy that is The Lord, My husband and children, Church/youth and my extended family..  To me it isnt a bad thing.  I love the Lord.  I love My family and I love my Church....

We are doing something interesting at our church this year.  We are having a Christmas Eve service with a $3,000 give a way.  Every person that comes will get a gift.  It will be a cash gift of either 5.00 20.00 50.00 100.00 or 500.00.

I know what some might be thinking because I know what some people are saying.. "you are just paying people to come to church.. "  Well I admit we are using it as an incentive for people to come.  We have a community full of people that need to hear about my Jesus.. If this helps them get into the door so we can share Christ's love so be it..   Some people might say well you are just wanting more people in your church.. TO that I say.. We want to grow the Kingdom of God...  I want to see churches all over the world full... So yes we want more people in church, but not just ours.. We want to build heaven..

People have a tendency of seeing church as a body that wants to take from them not give to them  We have a hurting world that needs to experience the Love of God.  We can not share that love if they arent there to share it to.  So sometimes you have to get creative.

The church (not just ours many) has offered food assistance for years.  We give them food yes because they need it.. But we also gave them food so that they will come and we give them food but also so we can pray for them and share Jesus with them.

We arent doing anything new just in a different way...  

We are doing a lot of different things to get ready for this event... We went out last saturday and put door knockers out and invited the people in our neighborhood to the Christmas eve service.. We have 4 new families there on Sunday because of those door knockers..  (about 20 people) Some arent even waiting till Christmas eve they are coming NOW!  How awesome is that..  They just needed a personal invite!  Thats ok we can do that !

We also are making a video to show clips of what the Lord has done in the lives of some of our members at church..  Short clips going from person to person giving a couple sentences of what the Lord has done in their lives..  That is right SENTENCES less if possible..

I know it is hard to say what the Lord has done in so few words.. and we say people struggle with how to say what the Lord has done in a few sentences.. Holy COW I didnt know how much he was done in some of my church families lives!!  I will post a video of it after Christmas so you all can see it!

I am so excited.  Excited to see such anticipation in what the Lord is doing.  I am excited to be living right here and right now and be apart of such an awesome church that has a heart of reaching people that need the Lord.  I am just excited to be apart of it.....

With this ring....

Our 5 year anniversary is coming up soon.  Eric asked me the other day if I wanted anything special cause he wants to get me something nice for our 5 year.  I said you know I have been thinking about maybe wanting a new wrap for my engagement ring.  He said ok well go look and let me know if there is one you want.. 

I went to the mall yesterday with my friend Shakira.  I looked at a few rings.. The ones I really like were at Kay jewelers.  They have some beautiful rings I could have put my center stone in.  I tried some on... and we got some ideas and info and left..  

We started to walk down to the kids play area.. I told Shakira I am not sure if i can trade my ring.. We talked about it some and she said she understood..  

LASt night the girls and I met Eric and Cheesecake Factory to eat dinner..  So after dinner I showed Eric some of the rings I was looking at.  

When we were walking out of the store He asked me so can you do it?  I said I dont know yet...

I was driving home with the girls and started to really think about it... This is the ring I got married with.. This is the ring Eric gave me.. He really went back and forth on the engagement ring.  He wanted to make sure it was in a band I would like(i was picky about the band) He did a really good job with the engagement  ring so I never need to get a new one..   If I get a new ring that Diamond has to come our of that "ring" he picked..  After we were engaged he said to go look at what kind of wedding band i would want..  So I picked a wrap I liked then and still do.. There really is nothing wrong with it.. Did I mention it is the ring we got married with.... ??  I am kinda emotionally attached...  So I decided in that moment driving over the Howard franklin bridge that even though some of the rings I looked at might be "nicer" or "bigger" That my ring is irreplaceable and invaluable to "me".  

It is the ring I see on our wedding pictures.. (eric's is different because he lost his before we were married a year. but at least i have pictures to remember it)(another subject for another day  haha)

So the point is I love my husband more then I can ever say, and I love the ring he gave me.  It symbolizes a lot.  

No room for Racism in church

I dont even remember the last time I wrote on this blog. I didnt even know I still had a blog.. Facebook has taken in that area for me... I have been thinking for some time that I wanted to become a blogger.. Well today is the day for me to "start" blogging. We will see how long it lasts...

I am not a great writer. I hardly ever pay attention to commas or punctuation.. I am sure my sentence structure could always use work.. I dont use them because I cant or dont know where they go. I just am lazy and to busy to care.. So if you need all that stuff this blog isnt for you.. Or if you like to criticize all that stuff this blog may be for you...

A lot has happened since I last blogged.. Eric and I now have 2 girls.. Abigail (abby) and Madelyn (maddie).. We couldnt be happier with our daughters.. They are the light in our eyes.. More about "catching up" in another blog.

Our church http://www.praisecathedral.com/ is having a big Christmas Eve service. You can read about it more on the Church website..

I had a lady call me today to ask questions about the service.. Then she had questions about our church.. Is this the pink church she asked. I said yes we are pinkish purple (long story but hey you cant confuse us with someone else) She asked if we were Catholic. I said no we are church of God Pentecostal. She said REALLY?! I said yes.. She said i am so excited.. I have to ask another question. "You see I am a black lady and will people look at me like I dont belong?" I said No My church is every open and we have people form many races.. I explained to her we hare a lot of white people but we have alot of Spanish and we are growing in the area of our black members. She told me she didnt care if we were all white she just wanted to make sure we didnt care she was black.. She was excited we will except her even though we dont have the same skin color.

I am excited I could brag on my church however it also breaks my heart that she would even have to ASK if a church would accept her because of the color of her skin.. Jesus died for all people and it is a shame that any church (christian church) would look at her any differently. I am not the color Jesus was when he walked the earth and he accepts me. I am so thankful he doesnt exclude me from salvation because I am white. How can a christian church act on the "Lord's" behalf and make someone feel they dont belong. It will be mutli racial in heaven so the people here on earth should get used to it.

I have had a problem over the course of my almost 31 years (that is right 31). My problem has not been with a drunk or a drug addict or whatever sin someone may have come out of.. My problem has always been with a racist. I literally get sick to my stomach if someone has a racial filled joke or something I consider off. I do not understand how a Christian can be a racist. I question if you can be a racist and be a christian.. at the very least you cant be a good christian and "good" racist at the same time..

The Lord reminded me of something recently when I was very upset about some racist things (not in my church i might add just in general) I think i was starting to have hate in my heart towards them.. The Lord reminded me he died for the racist too and that I had to love them also so that I am not a type of "racist" of people who are unsaved.

We are Youth Directors at our church, and we have so many from so many different races. I am proud of that. A year or so ago someone was asking if we had different races, and I said no not really. Someone else was there to remind me of all the races we did have in our youth.. I stopped and though wow we do.. I didnt realize.. I said you know when I look at them I dont see their different races I just see my kids that why i didnt answer correctly..

I am so thankful for a Lord that loves color blindly. I am so thankful for a church I can invite anyone to and we will love and welcome them to our family!..

So I know my first blog back is a hard subject. Racism can be a fire starter kind of subject.. However that phone call really touched my heart stings.. SO if you read this blog and have something bad to say about a race take it elsewhere.