Spiritual Authority

1 Samuel 15:23

King James Version (KJV)

²³ For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry.

Witchcraft- The practice of Magic esp Black Magic; the use of spells and the invocation of spirits.

Iniquity- Immoral or grossly unfair behavior 

Idolatry- Worship of Idols

Insubordination- defiance of authority 



If someone were to ask me if I am rebellious I would say no.. I was never really rebellious growing up.  I didnt drink, smoke, have sex, or anything like that.  I was always in church and with my youth group.  I was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. However I wouldn't use the word rebellious to describe myself.  

I have to look farther into the word now as an adult.  The word Rebellious isnt just in obeying a set of rules as a teenager growing up.  It can also be an attitude.  It could be something I have not given up to the Lord yet.. It could be me not doing something he has commanded in His word for me to do.  It could be me not trusting Him. It could be me not giving him control of certain situations. It could be so much more then all of these things.  

There are people the Lord has placed over me and I am called to submit to those people.  I married my husband and in our vows there was something in there about submitting to him.  

I want to say my husband is not the kind of man that leads our family heavy handed.  We are a team and he truly does acknowledge that I hear from the Lord too.  He is not threaten by that.  Just yesterday He called me and said he was debating an action he should take or not.  He called me told me about it and asked me to pray also and see what he should do.  

When things come up in our life we both pray and pray for each other and decide together what we should do, or how we should go about things.  However, if I feel we should do it differently then he does and he says no we are going to do this my way. I have to submit to that. It is what I am called to do.  If I decide not to submit then I am in rebellion, and the bible says that is as witchcraft.  

My husband is also my spiritual authority.  So if I go against that the Bible says it is like i am insubordinate and am in Idolatry.  That means I am Immoral and worship Idols.  Holy Moly!  I do not want to be those things. 

I am blessed to be a full time mom.  However, if I had an outside job I would aslo have to submit to my employer.  If I didnt I would be the same as listed above.  This kind of attitude will get you fired.  

I also have a church I choose to attend and have the spiritual leadership of my Pastor. (who also happens to be my father)  There are times I have to submit to my pastor. (dad or not)  If I dont this verse describes me also.

I want to be in submission to the Authority the Lord has placed over me in my life.  I also want to be in submission to my heavenly father.  I never want to be in rebellion of what He has for me.   I want to trust Him in all things and not rebel in that knowledge.  I want to give Him complete control and not rebel in that.  I never want it to be said of me "she followed the law, but was rebellious in her spiritual life or to my spiritual authority".

Lord thank you for giving me your word to help me know you more.  Help me to take your word and know it is for me.  Help me to trust fully in what you say and give you complete control, and to take your correction and walk wisely in you.  Help me to submit to the people you have placed over me and to do it with a good attitude harboring no hard feelings. Thank you for the people you have placed over me spiritually.  Lord, please lead the people over me and guide them.  Help them to hear clearly.  Help me to hear clearly.  Help me to follow you and not need to see what is ahead, but trust you are leading me where you want me, and you will take care of the details. I do not want to be the things in this verse PLease remove any and every part of me that would be rebellious and insubordinate.

Rejoice

Phil 4:4-7
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Rejoice Feel or show great joy or delight in the greek definition it also means to thrive

Rejoicing is sometimes easier then others.  We could be rejoicing in the Lord and then all of a sudden there is something that comes along and takes the wind out of our sails.  Maybe we have gotten bad news that someone we love is dying.  It could be anything.  Maybe you are discouraged with how your children are behaving.  It could be a wide variety of reasons you dont want to rejoice.  However this verse tells us REJOICE.  

THis verse says rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.  That means never stop! Rejoice in Him no matter what! 
Someone may be thinking, but you dont know what I am going through. You are right I dont know, but it doesnt change this verse.  It is saying rejoice in spite of our circumstances.  

Let your gentleness be evident to all
This is really saying do not let your emotions get the best of you.  How many times have I snapped at someone because i am feeling anxious about a situation in my life?  Countless! Lord Help me to be gentle in all things and in all times.  Help me to be this example for my Children.  I want my children to know a gentle mother not a harsh one.  I want my husband to know a loving wife that has faith in Jesus and me mood isnt determined by what is going on around me.  I do not want my emotions to control my attitude and mood...

This verse goes on to tell me WHY to rejoice and be gentle.. Because no matter what I am going through the LORD IS NEAR.  He hasnt forgotten me.  He does care about the little things in my life as well as the big.  He has not given up on me.  I have his promise that HE IS NEAR ME!!  HE IS WITH ME..  How many times do we feel alone in certain situations? How many times do we feel alone with so many people around us?  We are NOT alone... He is with us.. He is with me! ALWAYS!

This next part is always hard for me.  DO NOT BE ANXIOUS ABOUT ANYTHING!!! 
Holy Cow .. THis is hard for me..  I have mentioned in previous posts how I can WORRY!  If I am anxious about something I am not trusting the Lord.  That means I am calling Him a liar.  I am saying "Lord I know what your word says, but I am going to worry."  I am not believing He will do what He said He will do.  I am calling him a Liar.. 

My need to worry does NOT come from a past situation where the Lord let me down.  In fact it is the opposite.  He has NEVER let me down.  So why do I worry when HE SAYS DONT WORRY I GOT THIS..

It is probably my need to feel in control.  That goes against everything with the Lord.  I have to give HIM control and resist my sinful nature to control everything..  UGG when will I get this right?!  Well the Lord knew I needed to hear this a lot, because it is in the Bible time and time again.  

If you think about it what does worry really do?  NOTHING just makes you worry more... Instead I am to praying about it to the Lord.  

Sometimes in times past I have felt bad about bring my wants (petition) before the Lord.  I would feel like Lord I am always asking you for things.. I should ask all the time.. Well this verse says I need to pray and bring my petition before the Lord.  He also says in this verse they are requests.  THis means He may not do it the way I want.  Sometimes the answer is NO or WAIT.. Oh I hate that.. 

I am apart of the microwave generation.  I want answers NOW.  Just tell me yes or no please.  However, if I know all the answers when I ask how is that teaching me not to worry?  How is that teaching me to TRUST in the LORD.  It isn't.. So Wait I shall do.. 

Even when the answer is WAIT the LORD is still NEAR us He hasnt LEFT!!  SO I Will REJOICE!!! I HAVE TO.. This is what I was created to do!!!!  THis is where I find my purpose.. THis is where I find answers.. THis is where I find Jesus holding me up to rejoice when I cant stand anymore..  THis is where I find his PEACE!!!  Dont we all need a little more Peace.. I DO!!  ME ME ME! OVER HERE.. 

To get that PEACE I have to Give up somethings!!I have to give up worry.  I have to give up the need to control.  I have to give up the need to know every answer!  I have to learn to lean on HIM more.  I have to recognize I NEED JESUS.  In everything..

I was watching Big Brother 14 last night.. Brittney asked Janell Do you ever cry? She said no  She said if I have a bad emotion I change it.. 

This is what this verse is talking about.. If I have a bad emotion or if I have worry.  I have to change it.. The only way I can change those emotions is to REJOICE.

So that is why I want to REJOICE in the Lord always and again I say REJOICE!!

Hope That Soars

Isaiah 40:29-31

New International Version (NIV)

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint.

Oh how wonderful these words are!  He gives strength to the weary!  No matter what kind of front I want to put on there are times I am WEARY!

Definition of Weary

Feeling or showing tiredness, esp. as a result of excessive exertion

I have so many hats... I get really busy.. I know I know most of us are busy!  

  

At times I also feel SO weak.  I feel like I cant do all this on my own..  How can I be the Daughter, Wife, Mother, Pastors wife, Mentor, and Child of God I am called to be.  

Someone might say why are you admitting all this on a BLOG no less.  I am admitting I get Weary and Weak.  However I dont view this as a bad thing in and of it self.  I am excited that I QUALIFY for this Promise in the Bible.  I am not perfect! I get tired and overwhelmed.  I am so glad I have a loving father that looks at my imperfections and says "here I have promise for you too".  

I also know I can not stay in those weary and weak times.  I have to accept that the Lord wants me strong and powerful.  If I want to be strong in Christ and grow in my maturity then I have to "snap out of it" when I get like that.

I dont want to be an eagle that is scared to soar.  He created me to soar. 

Ben Patterson in "Prayer Devotional Bible" said the power of the eagle is not in the flapping but in the soaring.

Many times i get so caught up in the flapping I forget to soar.  I think many times that is why I get tired.  I flap to much lol.. 

How can I soar?  Well I have always been a worrier.  I worry about crazy things.. However I know that I can not be a Woman of faith and fear all at the same time. I have to be one or the other.  I have to choose to be a woman of FAITH not fear. 

That is how I can soar! I have to give all my fears and failures to the Lord.  I can't worry about them.  I cant hold on to them.. WHen I hold onto them I CAN'T SOAR. 

I have to let go because my HOPE is in Jesus and that HE WILL take care of me and my family.  He will make a way when there is no way.  He will complete what He has started in me.  He will guide me to be the best wife, mother, daughter ext.. I can be..

He will correct me when needed because the bible says he LOVES THOSE HE CORRECTS.  

It seems to me there is probably a correlation from getting weary and weak to stumbling and falling.. Perhaps if I can keep manage on the first half I will be on guard and it will help me not to fall.  I am so thankful He is there to pick me up when I fall and helps me start again!

Thank you Lord for helping me be unstoppable for you!  Thank you Lord for creating me to soar.  My Hope is truly in you so that I can soar like an eagle.  Help me to let go of the things I hold onto keeping me from soaring.  

What are you holding onto that is keeping YOU from soaring?

This topic and verse I got out of A Daily Women's Devotional by Navpress.  This particular  verse and study was discussed by Leighann McCoy.  If you would like to read their views and comments on this verse I encourage you to get the book and read it.  The above are my thoughts on her topic...

Hope Does Not Disappoint

Peace and Joy

1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
Romans 5:1-5

Life can be so hard.  
Things happen in life (many times) that are out of our control.  Regardless who you feel should be at the head of this country the turbulent world around us is scary.  Situations in many of our lives seem hopeless and irreparable.  There are many people out there who have raised their children in the way of the Lord and their children despise the Lord and the church.  Marriages fall apart. People die. Life can be an emotional roller coaster.

How can we as Christians not be swayed by the horrible things going on around us and in our lives.. I mean after all the verse I listed says Hope does not disappoint..   Some may ask if hope does not Disappoint then how do all these "bad" things keep happening in our lives and in the lives of people we love..  

I think many times people take that part of the scripture out of context and many people have left the Lord because He didn't do what WE hoped for.  After all if Hope does not Disappoint then why didn't Jesus do what we hoped for?  

We have to look deep into our heart and see where our hope is anchored.  Is our hope anchored in the outcome of our circumstances? or, is our hope anchored in God and his love for us despite our circumstances.  

This scripture talks about How we gain access to grace and faith through Jesus.  Just because we gain access doesnt mean we use it properly.  We have to work on going to our hope and faith in Christ..  These verses seem to refer to having hope in CHrist when things are going well..  Rejoice in him!! That seems to be easier for some in the good times..    

We also have to rejoice in Him in our times of suffering.  Who wants to rejoice in times of suffering?  Not me. not if I am honest.  I want to curl up in a ball and cry.  However We rejoice in times of suffering because that brings about perseverance and perseverance brings Character and Character brings forth Hope.. However this isnt hope in a specific outcome in our current circumstance.  
It is hope that no  matter what the circumstance HE loves me and will fill me with His love so I can go on and do what He has called me to do.

I do not want to be someone the rejoices in just the GOOD TIMES.. I also do not want to be someone that just runs to the Lord in bad times.. Trying to immaturely make deals with the Lord in trying to get the outcome I want.. 

I want to be a person the rejoices in ALL things.  I know bad things happen and can knock the wind out of your sails.  However I want to be someone that dusts myself off and gets up, because that is what He has called me to do.

Many might say why do all this after all I am not called to anything. I say look around and see what is around you.  Are you a mother, father, son, daughter brother, sister, employee, do you have neighbors?  Then you are called and have purpose for something...

My main reasoning for wanting to get this right are my daughters.  After all don't I expect them to not throw temper tantrums when I say no to something they want?  I have to be a good example of a child being let by my Father to do the same.  

I want to raise strong girls in Christ to have their HOPE in CHRIST and not the circumstances, so I have to do my best to demonstrate that for them.  Being a Godly Wife and Mother is my Highest calling.. Sure we have ministry obligations and I do not take that lightly! However, my highest calling and responsibility is to my Husband and daughters.   

I have to have Hope that even when circumstances do not turn out the way I would like that is NOT my HOPE..  My hope is that no matter what happens in life that my Jesus is going to turn it around for my good.. That He will take care of me and my family in this world.  



That Death is a lie to those who love the Lord (taken form one of my husbands sermons)  

I am not Living for this world!  

So I ask you What is Your HOPE really in?

I am reading a daily devotional  by NavPress

Dieting.. I mean changing the way I eat

Well this has been a great/hard week...  I have been wanting to get my pre Abby body back for a while now.. But didnt really want to do the "work" I needed to do for it..  (i am already at my pre maddie weight)..

I have a gym membership.. I started going back with Maddie was 6 months old.  However it became one reason after another why I couldnt go.. Family or friends visiting.  One kid was sick then I was sick then another kid was sick.. then another one sick.. IT was a cycle...  Then I just got out of the Habit..

I am Porshia Gillium's Maid of Honor in July.. I went to get sized and order my dress.   I decided to order the dress a size to small.. I asked the lady how much I needed to shed to fit in the next size.. She said 8 to 10. I figured that would make me get motivated to shed some pounds..  Boy did it.. I have been in the gym non stop and watching what I eat better then I have in Years.  I have to say it feels great most of the time..

My Daily activity has been wake up...
Take Abby to school..
Go to Gym..
20-35 mins on the elliptical
20-35 mins on the tread mill
20-35 mins of weights and sit ups...

sometimes after dinner i walk another 30 mins...

I am also only eating 1200 calories a day..  
TOmorrow is my cheat day so I will have 1600 calories tomorrow..

I have already lost 4.5 lbs...  So almost to that size i need to be for the dress I ordered.. I am hoping to go a little father so I am hoping they have to take the dress in some... thats my goal...


WHy am i sharking all this on my blog?  Hmmm not sure... but I am ...
And before anyone says that isnt enough calories.. I have looked it up and read about it I am in the safe zone...

OUR STORY

Ok so this is a longerish post so sorry ahead of time...


Wow it has been 5 years.  I can't believe it..  Five years since Eric and I said "I do". I thought since it was our anniversary I would post a blog about "our story".  Granted this is just my side of "our story", but my husband doesnt have a blog so my side is all you get..  He has told his version from the pulpit at times.  Now I finally get my side out there haha...

Eric and I kinda met on my 25th birthday.  I met my friend Shauna for dinner at Chilies and she was eating with friends and I joined them.  Eric never talked to me once and I didnt talk to him either.  Fast Fwd a few months later...

I went to Chillies with a bunch of people from a bible study I was attending.. Most of the people I didnt know.  There was probably a table of 20- 30 people.  We were all there for a while.. My back was to the walkway.  I was talking with someone (dont remember who) when I felt a presence come in the room.  I turned around and looked and saw Eric.  I felt like I heard the Lord tell me (in a still small voice) that "there is the man I have for you. He is the one you will marry".  I thought wow I am really losing it..  Then I saw he sat at our table.  So I asked Shauna who he was.. She said oh that is Eric isnt he cute...?? I said yes he is.. and we never really talked about it again.. I remember thinking man Jess you are becoming flaky.

I had heard of people saying they heard the Lord tell them things like that, and I always thought ya right.. I didnt really believed it happened that way.  Then On Sunday after church Shauna and I met people for lunch and we got their last.. There were two sets open. Once was next to Eric.. I sat there and thought ok I know I am wrong about what I heard but I will talk to him and see..  Well I tried to talk to Eric and He basically Ignored me.  Would not look at me when he talked only the TV. Then I started talked about the show 24 and he really liked the show so he started to engage a little in conversation but still kinda rude..    24 was about to have its season opener, and everyone at the table started talking about it.. So I invited everyone to my house to watch it.. Hoping Eric would come of course.  He didnt however about 30 other people came. haha

I left that lunch thinking wow I really missed it... Lord he is rude and a jerk and wont even talk to me.. When I was at Lee I didnt approach a guy..  They always approached me.  and usually they were really nice and talkative..  So I just thought wow he is a jerk haha...   Well I later found out he was kinda in a relationship.  (something I did not know) So in the back of my mind I thought well at least I know he is loyal to who he is seeing..

Well a few months go by and I started seeing someone and didnt really give Eric much of a thought after that.  I thought well I missed it for sure and the Lord didnt tell me anything...

The relationship I was in ended and I was at dinner with a friend.  She had mentioned Eric.  In that conversation it came up that he was no longer in a relationship either..   I remember feeling excited.  I thought to myself again wow Jess stop it.  You didnt hear from the Lord.. He isnt the one for you and you arent going to marry him..

The very next day I was on myspace.  Remember my space?  Well I was on my friends myspace leaving a wall post and saw a top friend.. It was Eric..  I wasnt sure if I should friend request him.. WE had only met 3 times, and he was rude to me every time...

In the end I did friend request him.  We then started talking on IM..  While we were talking he said you know I should have come to watch 24 that one night because I have missed the whole season.. Then I said well my aunt has them all saved if you want to catch up I am sure she will let us use her house.  (thanks aunt pam) I went to my aunts house a few mins early and she was so nice she had drinks on the table and snacks and then Left.  She left and I thought wow this is so nice of her but the spread on the table is a little much.  I was starting to put it all away when the door bell rang.  He was early so I couldnt put it up... Oh well..

We watched some 24 and had Pizza that night and great conversation.  I thought well he isnt a jerk anymore. lol.

We met a few times a week to watch 24 (my poor aunt) and then one night he took out to dinner.  It was the best 1st date I have ever been on..  We had watched all there was to watch of 24 and we had been going on to eat most nights for a break.  All these nights felt like dates however I still felt like oh man 24 is almost over we wont have a "reason" to see each other anymore.. However on the last night of 24 Eric made plans to do something the next night or two..  From there we were inseparable..

We were together a lot. We saw each other for about a month a few times a week. Then we made it official. haha We Dated for 5 months.  We had alot of fun dating.  However we didnt date long..  We decided when you know you know so why wait.  He asked me to marry him in September and I said Yes...as if you didnt know.. When we were engaged We were talking about how we knew we were the ones for each other.. I told the story about how he walked in Chilies blah blah.. However I have to admit I doubted it more then a time or two before we started dating (never after).

He shared a time months before we met.  He was praying and telling the Lord he needed a wife.  He said he felt like the Lord just said a name to him.  He said the Lord just said to him Jessica... He thought that was weird... but then the Lord gave him another name  Thomas..  I said why didnt you tell me this before.. He said in case I was wrong...  I Love how the Lord spoke to us both at different times before we were even together..

How did my parents do with this you ask... Well My mom was very excited.  I had a part at her house one night and she came in and saw eric and I sitting and talking and later told me Jessica I saw you two and I just believe you were made for each other.  
My dad well .. you know that saying you worry about her meeting the wrong guy and then you worry about her meeting the right guy..  It was a little of that.. He was scared of losing his daughter.. He did however confess to me at the time he believed he was the right one.  My parents couldnt love Eric anymore if he was their own son. Eric loves them as well..

We were looking for wedding dates.  We didnt want a long engagement we wanted to get married pretty soon..  I wanted to get married in February.  I wanted to get married on Valentines day weekend.  or at least in that month.. The Reception hall had that date open however the flowers were double the price in the month February because of the holiday..  I also wanted red roses and those were the highest priced for the month.. This lead me to go back to the reception hall and see what dates they had open.
Well they had Jan 20th open and a day in Mid march open... So I went to dinner that night with Eric and  told Eric the options.  I let him know Feb was out and here are the choices what do you want to do.. He didnt hesitate he said well then Jan 20th.. I said really?  He said yes why wait till march lets just do it in Jan.. If that is the date they have then let's do that.. After making sure it was also a good time for his family we decided Jan 20th was our wedding date..

My mom and I planned a wedding in 4 months.  It was a little more then a year after we kinda sorta met for the first time.  It was 8 or 9 months From our first episode of 24 we watched together.

PLanning our wedding was easy ( i saw that because mom did most of it).  I have heard that this can be a stressful time in a couples life.. many arguments can arise.  We didnt have one.. We never argue.. Never really did then and dont really do it now.

Our wedding day came and it was perfect!  I was so excited and so calm at the same time.. Eric said he was the same way.  We couldnt wait to be married.. Yes we had a awesome wedding and rehearsal dinner thanks to our families.  However we didnt concentrate on the wedding.. we focused on the marriage.  We wanted a great marriage on firm foundation.

I loved our wedding.. I have many pictures of it on my facebook page.. You can check them out.  I love to look at our wedding book.. I love to remember the wonderful day it was.  Even more then that I LOVE being married to my best friend.. I Love the relationship we have.. I love the Life we have build thus far.

Every year as our anniversary comes we celebrate and reflect our wedding day but all the years in between as well..

I am so thankful the Lord blessed me with such an awesome husband that loves me so deeply and loves our family.  He loves the Lord with all his heart and leads our family as an awesome example of a godly man/husband/father/pastor.

Forgiveness

about an hour ago I sent abby to her room for time out because she was talking real mean to me..
 She was in 4 mins.. and came out we talked about it and an she went..

well she just came in and said mommy can i tell you something.. I said sure.. She said I am really sorry for earlier and how i talked to you.. I said oh its ok I love you gave her a hug and a kiss..  She said but mommy do you forgive me.. I said of course I always forgive you...  I love you no matter what!  She smiled and said Thank you mommy I love you..

That is how our heavenly Father is..
When we say we are sorry and ask for forgiveness of sins.. He forgives us..
No matter what crazy thing I do I can always go to Him my Father..
Sometimes it is harder to forgive ourselves.
Thank you Father for your Forgiveness.  Thank you for your love.